Is This Paula White’s Justification for Her Divorce?

This is the text of an article Paula wrote on her website entitled “Associations.” [Comments in brackets]

[I’ve already posted my thoughts on her divorce, but when I read this article by her, I was just incredulous. Not only is so much of this is just plainly unbiblical, but it is so insightful into the way she thinks. I couldn’t help seeing the connection with her divorce.]

How would [you] describe the health of your relationships? Be honest, because it’s crucial for your life. There are four types of people in your life: people who add, people who subtract; people who multiply, and people who divide. If you are presently involved in relationships that prey on your heart and rob you of control over your life, it’s time to make a change.

[Was Randy preying on her heart and robbing her of control over her life? Is that the reason for this change?]

A healthy relationship is one in which there is balance. There is give and take and mutual appreciation and a building up of each other. It is one in which honest words of appreciation are exchanged without any hint of manipulation. Healthy relationships come along with people who have a common direction or destination—common values and goals. If you do not have a common direction, you will always be in conflict.

[Obviously her marriage was without balance. Is she giving up on the give-and-take and mutual appreciation of building up Randy? When did they let their common direction, values, and goals deteriorate into an unhealthy relationship? What did they fail to realign their hearts?]

The associations in your life show your value system. Associate only with people who add or multiply your life. If a person is subtracting or dividing, you need to separate from that person. Never compromise your character for anyone. Don’t give power to any person to manipulate and control. No person can make you lose your joy, your temper, or any other aspect unless you give that person that power. Don’t do it!

[Did association with Randy reflect badly on Paula’s value system? Was he failing to multiplying her life so badly that she has to separate from him? Is this a show of strength in not compromising her character for anyone, including her husband? And exactly what character quality does it display to divorce him? No person should make you disobey God. Paula, don’t do it!]

Trust God to help you recognize when a relationship is becoming detrimental to you, to your ministry, or to the health of your family life. Trust God to give you the courage to end the relationship, and then trust Him to give you broad shoulders and thick enough skin to take the criticism that you may face for ending the relationship. Put some distance between yourself and those who speak discouragement into your life.

[Is she trusting God with her marriage? Or, had her relationship with Randy gone so detrimental to her, her ministry, and the health of her family life that divorce is the best solution? Is she just putting distance between her and Randy because he was speaking discouragement in to her life? Is this why she is ending the relationship?]

It takes emotional energy to end a relationship, and if you cut every unhealthy relationship out of your life at one time, you are likely to be overwhelmed by the loss. Cut unhealthy relationships out of your life one at a time until you can look around you and say, “All of my relationships are pleasing to God.”

[Is a broken relationship with her husband pleasing to God?]

In all your relationships, don’t demand from people what only God can give. Only God can give you a deep awareness of how infinitely valuable and precious you are to Him, and what a glorious destiny He has for you. Only God can see and meet the unfulfilled needs in your life that even you don’t recognize. Only God can fix your heart. Only God can mend your mind. Recognize that no other human being can ever complete you, and you’ll save yourself a world of hurt.

[Is divorce God’s glorious destiny for Paula and Randy?  Paula, let God save you from a world of even more hurt, and let Him fix your heart on this. This is not wise. Let Him mend your mind, because you are not thinking biblically. Obey the Scriptures and reconcile with Randy. That is the unfulfilled need you need most right now.]

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21 Responses to Is This Paula White’s Justification for Her Divorce?

  1. Derrick says:

    Holy moly! I just heard Osteen preach the same blasted mesage yesterday while scanning the boob tube. I stopped to hear what that good old boy might be smiling on about and lo! He was telling them folks from the pit to the nosebleed section all about the traits of successful people. What got my attention right off the bat was his continued hammering away at this following theme: successful people need to be around other successful people who have goals like theirs and share similar visions like theirs. If you are tied to folks who don’t share your vision of who “you” are nd who “you” want to be then “you” need to rid yourself of this baggage and move on to a social circle more in line with “your” established goals and priorities. I don’t know if Paula White is simply living out the logical conclusion of that way of thinking but I know for damn sure that Christ was too good for those to whom he went. I know that Christ didn’t abandon folks who were not living up to his lofty expectations and impeding his mission goals on earth.

    Let’s suppose Christ did take Olsteen and White’s philosophy to heart. What might have then occurred? I imagine Christ would have summoned up some old testamnet heavy weights like Elijah, or Enoch to pal around with. No one would have been able to touch those guys due to their holiness. No one would have been able to withstand their hgh expectations. maybe even the Buddha could have made an appearance just to make things really crazy and cabalistic. This kind of success in life mentality is exactly what christ and the apostles taught and preached against. Christ was rich but became poor so that we might be made rich. Not in terms of material “blessings.” Rather our richness comes instead from having the ability through Christ to simply know God at all. That is the richest thing there is or could be.

    Well stay tuned because there seems to be a whole mess of TBN style bishops and prophetesses just lining up to out do White and surpass any of the ridiculous clown car christianity that old Paul Crouch can pass out over at “Cloudy Versailles.”

    I appreciate your restraint when responding to White’s weasling. My prayer is that these folks be brought low so that they might later be restored in all humility in Chrsit once again.

  2. Scott W. Kay says:

    Yeah, Derrick, I share your prayer at the end of your comments.

    I too heard Osteen preaching this same exact thing last night on TV. Very sad indeed.

    I hope this post sounded as restrained as you thought it did. I really did not mean to sound condescending or anything, just bewildered at the mentality.

    Thanks for the great comments about Jesus too. So true.

  3. Gosh, this woman has no idea of Bible basics … I’m convinced she needs to invite Jesus to come from her knowledge to her heart and change her.

    Scott, I feel also overwhelmed by the mentality! Incroyable! We need God’s Kingdom to be manifested soon.

    Be blessed,

  4. dcintx says:

    Scott,
    This is all new for me, I recently started reading your blog and it is so on target in alot of areas. I wonder, why does not anyone think that the White divorce is something else that has not made public. Maybe the fact that she spends more time in TX than in Tampa recently. That she bought a ranch right next to her “friend” Bishop Randy and is at Family Praise Center in San Antonio. The fact that he also divorced his wife in Feb. around the same time White is always in SA. Hum….

  5. Scott W. Kay says:

    dcintx,

    Yeah, without jumping to conclusions, at the very least it looks suspicious.

  6. thistimenow says:

    Mi Lucha, dcintx, scott, I bet you you’ve all been or have thought about divorce at some time or other. No one should try to analyze this or another marriage, things happen, people grow apart, it’s really that simple. I guess that there are still people in the world who refuse or cannot believe that not even an unshakeable faith in God can sustain a marriage. Marriages end everyday, God’s love, never.

  7. Scott W. Kay says:

    thistimenow,

    I understand that people’s hearts grow apart, but that is not a valid reason for divorce, according to Scripture. At that point it becomes a matter of obedience to God’s Word despite how we feel emotionally. We are commanded to love one another, God does not merely tell us to do so as long as we keep feeling like it. We take vows before God, and God gives very clear counsel on how to remain in even difficult marriages. This is not about analyzing the White’s marriage, it is about observing their professed commitment to Scripture while openly violating it. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that it is unloving or hardhearted or judgmental to expect God’s people to obey God’s Word, even when it’s hard. Not even I am an exception to that.

  8. Suzanne says:

    I was just perusing the website and looked through some of the posts and replies. I think it is a great thing to network with fellow believers but I think sometimes, we take technology for granted. Are we any better for posting our two cents about someone’s divorce? What does it matter what we think. What business is it of ours where she spent time and with who? God knows exactly what she is up to and He will deal as vindicator and judge. We should not speculate or draw our own conclusions. Is this forum the fence in the backyard that we gossip over?Should we be reminded of those who were about to throw stones at the adulterous woman? I think our focus should be on standing against sin and not against people. We should love people and show Christ. Gossip comes in strange ways and perhaps blogs and forums are the new wave of gossip. We should be praying for this couple and praying that God’s will be done. We should pray for reconciliation. Divorce isn’t right but that doesn’t mean we talk about them. True or not, we should speak with grace.

  9. Scott W. Kay says:

    Suzanne,

    You are right that it does not ultimately matter what we think, and yes, God will deal with it at the final judgment. What I’ve sought to do here is not post my 2 cents but God’s – as revealed in Scripture. I’ve been careful to not draw conclusions, only ask questions that are framed to cause readers to think about this from a Scriptural perspective. I do not believe that that amounts to gossip. I am not against the Whites, and I don’t think that this blog has been unfair to them, only tried to point out the sin and call them to repentance – and I’ve done so with grace and love (although attitudes are difficult to discern in a written medium, that has been true here, at least on my part). This divorce happened in public, So it is not wrong to publicly call them to repentance and reconciliation as an act of obedience to Scripture – that is what the church at large should be doing, yes, while praying for them to do just that.

  10. Observer says:

    You have a point Scott and I agree with you. We can utilize our technology to remind us of God’s will, share our own insights and perspective and learn from others too. It’s not for the intent to gossip, discriminate or criticize other people.

  11. Owusi Jerrie says:

    Sister and brothers,

    I feel your hearts, and I know that your faith has been challenged, but that is what the bible said, “ having done all stand…..”

    Yes! We have to stand because our faith is not in the wisdom of men, sentiments or the craftiness of the evil one. Yes! The enemy would always try to attack all of our kingdoms institutions, e.g. marriage, leadership, our lives, etc But we are victors on every side because we know his age long tactics of striking the shepherd in order to scatter the sheep. The issue is not what the evil one did or is doing but our response to him.

    Paula & Randy, Juanita & Weeks are our family. Yes! We are one great and big family and right now they need our love and support and not our sermons and condemnation. You and I know that living the life of faith is challenging enough, talk less of living at the eyes of the public. You see brothers and sisters, love conquers all things even this one.

    I sincerely believe that we have an opportunity here to validate to the world and ourselves – whose (who) we really are. We are daughters & sons of Love and we know how to protect and nurture our own. If you are around them show them 1 Corinthians 13, because love is our nature and it is time to act it out. If you are by the media please focus on strength of the word of God – focus on the persons and not their wrong actions or mistakes – the persons involved are anointed women and men of God – FAMILY FIRST!

    We know that they have the Holy Spirit in them and he would lead them to all truth. Remember fruits or acts or love is for the matured and the strong, and if you must judge please give righteous judgment.

    Let us stay on our faith, each one practicing “excellence in expression” the word of faith in every area (marriage, leadership, living, etc) because we would be rewarded for how we dealt and made profit with the word of life.

    Share this mail with your friends

    I love you all

    Owusi Jerrie
    http://www.savemeafuturetoday.org

  12. Lesha says:

    Okay………so…….. if one of my family members do something wrong, I’m not to say anything because I love them? this is precisely why incest and domestic violence prevails – nobody wants to deal with ugly issues. We sweep it under the carpet in the name of love, convenience, position……..and generations get infected.

    Juanita and Paula and their husbands are the best dressed, richest, and high-profile hurting people I ‘ve seen in a long time. As for them not needing sermons, well, if I recall correctly, sermons were what they preached and shared. So is it that the sermons are/were useless? If no, why should we not now give them sermons?
    If yes, then why are they still remaining in ministry?

    Maybe I’m viewing the wrong sources, but it is business as usual for these goodly folks. We are the only ones agonising/sympathising /venting and defending them
    instead of taking sides with the Word of God.

    Do you hear them asking for prayer, love & support? Paula is aking for atonement offering, and Juanita needs you to help her buy a threshing floor so she can pray for you.

    That’s the reality………..ugly, right? but hey, am I lying?

    The truth may be an offence, but it’s not a sin.

  13. Beatz says:

    men and women in God do not grow apart, if you are growing apart from your husband or wife, you are actually going astray from God. if she cant respect her husbands authority, then she should have never got married in the first place, seems to me like she wants to do what she wants to do, but its the will of the Father that has to be done. and the will of the Father is for wives to submit to their own husbands. if you cant do this then you are not ready for marrige, likewise if males are not in the will of the Father, which is to love your wife as Christ loves the church, you also are not ready for marriage.

  14. omowunmi says:

    I sincerely feel rather than crucify this ministers of God, all we need to do is pray for them. What we are doing now is what the enemy wants us to do. Judge them! and we are commiting sin too. Yes! they missed it, but let all who believe in the saving Grace of the Lord pray for all this ministers. May they all be restored in Jesus name

  15. Nene says:

    Very excellent point, Omowunmi!!! Love covers, people. It’s not about what you think about the Whites or the Osteens. God equally condemns judgemental people as much as he condemns divorce or false teaching. Ultimately, we have to run our own race and pray that everyone is doing their best to serve the Lord in Spirit and truth.

  16. browneyedsue says:

    You know, I am always amazed at the criticism launched by so-called Christians at others in trouble…………………………………………….

    If someone is pregnant- they badger a young girl not to get an abortion- but if they are pregnant and young, they wag their fingers and gossip about the irresponsibilities of that young girl who should KNOW better. ……………………………………….

    Do they help with the pregnancy or baby? Nope. They have done their job- they have launched their verbal assault and moved on to torture their next victim…………………………….

    And yes, we have moved on to Paula White. To all of you who are listing reasons why their relationship is not biblically LEGALLY terminated- would you be there to offer support or help if they stayed together? Nope. you would just be gossiping about something else you did not like about them, or how they should be ashamed not to have a PERFECT relationship. Then if they did have a perfect relationship, you would put them down for that – who do they think they are putting on such a false front…………………………………..I am tired of the tongue wagging that goes on. WHO CARES if Randy and Paula White got a divorce? You should be following GOD and not them. It is THEIR RESPONSIBILITY TO ANSWER TO GOD- NOT YOURS. Let’s get down to what is wrong in YOUR life……wait, why are you clicking the off button on your computer………

  17. sheila says:

    Oh for goodness sake. Ive read some of these comments and they are full of the legalistic attitudes like the pompous pharasees that Jesus wanted no part of, like healing on the Sabbath. You self-righteous lot, full of condemnation when you havent got a clue as to the circumstances behind closed doors!. Have you ever lived with a controlling person who uses scripture to justify their abusing of another human being? I suggest you all turn your eyes to your own planks of wood and your own personal sin and let people maintain their own walk with God and let God be God, who is the righteous judge and the only one fit to judge. If you are without sin, then pick up your stone but remember, he desires mercy, not sacrifice and soft hearts not those made of stone.

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